Bluebook revisited

I was nervously excited last week’s midterm exam. I was nervous in the sense that I felt unequipped to take the exam for lack of review preparation, and excited because after a year I was again using the bluebook – a witness of my academic journey. My professor’s words “I expect a graduate essay” did not help much to ease my tension. I was just enlightened upon hearing that it would be in essay form. Teachers are more gracious in essay exam, I thought, based on my experience :)

The UP’s bluebook has been a silent spectator of my pursuit of wisdom and knowledge. I experienced both failure and euphoria with the result of my exams. But never in my college life that I consider bluebook’s result as the prime indicator of someone’s intellect. Though I believe in the concept of excellence, aiming for it would be my lifetime struggle. I am a certified patient of this disease called cramming, and this is where I usually abuse the grace of the Lord. Avoiding it is also my favorite resolution which has never been absolutely phased out in my discipline. This is beyond a graduate school’s requirement, and when I surpass this I will definitely end up excellent in my graduate studies for the glory of God. More power to me :)

I finished the test before the time expired, but I was still the last exam taker. My classmates were better off with their answers, I thought. Then my professor gave the result of my first critical paper, and all I did was to praise the Lord for the grade of 2, the lowest grade, I suspect, for his standard. Though I was in remorse state because I got the lowest mark, this challenged me to do better next time. There was no one to blame but myself, my procrastination.

I walked away affirming that God has been good to me, so good that His grace enough for that day had been abused by me. “How long, O Lord, will You tolerate me?” With the glorious riches of His grace and mercies, I am afraid though with the consequence of my action… †