Sunday, December 21, 2008


YearEnd Report: I happened to waste my time surfing the site of and thought of posting the links of my major reports aired in national newscast. For those who missed watching me, you can have a glimpse of what I'm doing in the region with the following links:

*(these were two same stories aired in different news programs of gma7)

Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Challenge of Rebuke

It comforts me to know that someone understands me, even the complaints I have carried all through out my adjustment period for more than six months now. I am grateful I have friends who believe in me, who trust me, who show both the good and ugly in me. Though it’s hard to accept rebuke, it is better than hidden love, indeed.

But what’s the good of such admonition if I won’t heed on the challenge of deliberate change? I admitted I was spiritually “stagnated” the past months. I confessed I have been tempted of all kinds, and have sinned many times. But what I have gone through, I could say that I was mindful all along - the consequences of my actions, the trust that might be lost, the character that might be tainted with malice.

Grace. Gracia. Panangasi ya Katawan. It fuels me to breathe like a regenerated one. But right now, I am restless, tired, exhausted. It seems I am moving and acting without joy and sacred hype. But like a wounded soldier, I will rise. I accept the challenge to end this “game” of faith, to finish the good fight. But I can’t do it myself. I need YOU.

Sunday, September 14, 2008


I regret my coward act of not showing and telling her my true feelings. There’s no such thing as secret love, indeed. And so I have to suffer the pains of great memories we’ve been through as friends, as she’s now with somebody else.

I was hurt. I blamed myself for that ‘loss’, for not doing anything to have her. I did crazy things to move on. And I was surprised because I’m hurting myself to the limits, for more than two weeks now. My first broken-heart experience, indeed, but I opt to stop my litanies here. I am done and over with my self covenant of waiting for her. She has decided, and I am free.

Lessons learned: enjoy being in solitude, and enjoy being with somebody you feel like hanging on; always forgive yourself; wish the person all the best, don’t curse; pamper yourself with a fresh bath every night; just cry when you feel like crying, and smile afterwards; love the Lord still...

" I never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something you never really had. " ~ From the television show The Wonder Years †

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Good News & Bad News

My night duty was over. The moments of seeing cadavers, blood, wrecked vehicles, sleeping police officers, commercial sex workers during raid, etc. have come into halt. I can now rest my pathetic eyes during night time, and I can now read my books again, hehe. It’s both good and bad news for me.

It’s bad news because I’ll be annoyed again with the scorching heat of the sun during coverage (arte, hehe). It’s time again to be pressured in beating the deadline for the afternoon newscast. I’ll be forced to adjust my eating habit. I can’t wear a jacket anymore, except on rainy days and typhoons. But then, these can all be good news depending on perspective.

It’s good news because I can now go out for night life (where? hehe). I can meet again my sources. I can set appointments for interview. I can see Amianan staff more often. I can watch movies on marathon basis (as in?hehe). Well, adjustment time again, but definitely, I’ll be missing both day and night practices.

What is important is that I should enjoy every course of the day, every camera roll, every story I cover. When I see good news in this bad news world, then, I am blessed because I am not missing the point of life as I see the positive side of life. Indeed, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV)

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Lessons learned

Happy 2-monthsary… hehe. Yup, yeap, it’s more than two months now that I am working as a correspondent. Congratulations

But I am quite exhausted; not a complaint but a natural feeling of a human being. It’s not the work per se, but actually the details within the work. And absolutely, I would say that this job that I have now is the job that I prayed for, and the job that I like, the job that I am still learning to love. Oh, yes, it’s a process of loving this kind of work, and so far, I am enjoying the journey of growing in love with my work.

I just want to share some lessons and realities that I encountered for the past months as a correspondent. First, even though I want to effect change in the story that I want to make, I just can’t help but cover the event as it is because I know my limitations. I cannot involve directly with the pleas and concerns of the people involved especially faces and hearts so deeply in need. I cannot curse people who blatantly violate the rights and simplicity of the marginalized in my story, otherwise, I may be judged bias. I can hide my partiality but not my empathy.

Secondly, it’s difficult to blame “uneducated” people when I see them in desperate situations, fighting with their fists but ended up losers. Some of these are victims of ignorance and unequal distribution of favor and wealth. I may just listen to them, sympathize with them, but I can’t just do mighty things for them to redeem their zeal. Nevertheless, I am thankful that with the kind of job that I have, I can inspire them, and trigger them to be hopeful and wishful.

Lastly, I learn to smile even though it’s not needed, and I learn to hide my resentment to those who are contemptible…. 

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Grow where I am planted

Wherever I am, whatever I do, whenever I will be, I should know who my real boss is. I should know why I should behave this way, why I should write this way, why I should broadcast report this way.

It was just a dream way back in college that an “impaired, lisping, loner” can become a reporter. And this dream came true just in time, just when I waited and prayed the most, when I needed direction in a confused and staggered blueprint waiting to be discovered. I asked of this, and it was given to me. Or should I say, it was given to me because HE is just simply good. :)

Working in the media industry, particularly under the contours of the best and most reputable network in the country, is a totally different field just to highlight the excitement, the thrill, the hype, the lesson, ethics and principles one can incur working within. But it is no different field when talking about where God puts me to influence where I am planted…

I am enjoying what I am doing right now as a reporter. Never mind the butter in the bread, aheemm for now (ano daw, hehehe). Thanks anyway for the psyche income triggered by the billboards, posters, and ads.

But I want to share about why the Lord has put me in this workplace. For almost a month now, I find it hard to find myself behaving in a manner worthy of Christ’s standard. I have no serious problem working with people inside; they’re all unique, well-crafted, wonderful individuals. I am just concerned with my own character, with the way they influence me, and I influence them. Do I still know that I should let my light shine, and not put it in the shed where my light is distorted and controlled? Do I still know that in everything I do, I should do it for God’s glory?

This is my wake up call indeed. I just hope and pray that the fast pace in the newsroom will not cause me forgetful that once in my journey, I was redeemed. From the simple use of words to dealing with people, I should let my light shine. No turning back…

Sunday, March 09, 2008

A heartbeat for transition

Transition will be my next disciplinary program in the coming days. I'll be moving out of Baguio to traverse a new path, to exploit greater heights, to grow more and to love deeper. I anticipate positive things to happen in this new journey, confident that the hands and blessings of the Lord are upon me.

The city of pines has become a comfort zone for me, enjoying every freedom and access crucial to my development as a human being. It has given me the chance to see all kaleidoscopic enigmas of life. The beautiful and the not-so-wonderful are all part and parcel of the lessons of life. Oppositional binaries are at work all the way, but praise be to God who sustains and preserves those He called, justified and destined to be with him.

Though not everything has been laid down crystal clear, the plans of the Lord are sure to come. His plans are a work in progress, and He considers it done when He wills it to be. And so what will I do? Follow his leading, remain in him, know his heart, seek his face, ask for his blessings and favor, and continue to serve him wherever he leads me. (It’s really easier said than done).

All I really need is to put my hope and trust in the Lord, the author and perfecter of my faith (Heb. 12:2). He understands the beating of my heart, and I believe that as I long as I know the heart of the Lord, (which is also a process of knowing) I will never go wrong. And when I go wrong, I, myself, will be blamed – a vulnerable sinner who needs grace and mercy every now and then.

”You may not always be able to feel a deeper heart feeling right away, but stay focused in the heart. The sincerity of your effort can reconnect you to your heart current and start the juices flowing. To plug in, think of someone you love or remember what feels good, maybe a fulfilling experience. Feelings help you remember.” - Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart

Saturday, February 09, 2008

My Springboard

My short government stint has come into halt last January 2008. I resigned with peace and joy in my heart because this has been a result of prayer, a gentle wrestling with the Lord. Main factors involved my desire to give more time with the campus ministry and the master's program that I am learning to love. All other reasons are valid secondaries. Period :)

This time, I am enrolled in what I call exploratory, disciplinary program under the rubrics of spirituality, professionalism, and relationship building. Spirituality involves an integral, holistic approach in life where I expect myself to unify every diverse, fragmented “blueprint” awaiting its discovery and fulfillment. It will bring me to a certain divinity where I won't create any secularity over any mundane activity, but rather recognize that everything is divine when Jesus is in control. I will definitely anticipate a more intimate encounter with my Creator.

Under professionalism, no big deal actually, as I will just try to work part-time as a self-confessed, “desperate” writer and journalist. This will be an experimental stage to test the water, and decide if there is something else my heart longs for. Lately, I'm gaining interest in linguistics, particularly on the development of Pangasinan language, and in making documentaries on children and youth. Teaching in college by June excites me as well. Or perhaps, I could be all around, all at the same time, hahaha. Ambitious me! :) Financially and (theologically) speaking, I am “living by faith.”

What and how I live at present will be my legacy. I want to be remembered as someone who loves the Lord passionately, who blesses others in various ways, who makes people smile, who upholds justice, who is so concerned with youth and children's welfare, who gains satisfaction with the life I live. And when people remember me, only praise and worship to Jesus will be their sweet utterance. And these things will happen if as early as now I develop the edifying process of relationship building. What I will share are the things that I have. I cannot give something that I don't have; but “praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us (me) in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessings in Christ” (Eph. 1:3, NIV).

Will I be able to surpass all these challenging things? By God's grace, love, and providence, Yes! And my springboard at the moment, and for tomorrow's tomorrow, is the peace and joy I have with the Lord. Pray with and for me as well.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Return of the Comeback

The 70-day vacation of my father will soon be expired on February 14, the date of his flight back to KSA. His riyal-converted-to-dollar reserve is already depleted, and my family is once again on the verge of belt tightening. After happy days come the not-so-happy days, at least for a month.

Like the global economy’s bloodbath scenario brought about by US economic slowdown, my family needs to take a breather and employ all necessary means for recuperation. But with all these things, I praise God for each counted days that we are together as a family.

Christmas, New Year and my sister’s wedding – these are the prime peaks of our family’s revelry. These are as well the major sources of expenses outlaid for such joyful revelries. And who would regret such expenses in exchange of the time spent together as family? Not us.

What the reality speaks of is that his money reserve is not sufficient; so as his vacation time. My family, particularly my father, has not yet entertained the idea of investment and so we can be sustainable in our resources. Of course, I understand his limitation, especially his meager salary as a caretaker. Except for my sister and I who now work independently, (ahemm), my family depends solely on my father’s income. We combine resources together, as much as we could, to withstand the high cost of our youngest’ education expenses.

Another reality is that, we really don’t have savings. And that’s what we should work for now. I, myself, don’t have savings for more than one year that I am working. (Let the poor say I am rich!:)) And I hope this will change for our future’s sake, haha. We should as well learn how to venture in small-scale business, and really be wise in managing what the Lord is giving us.

Time will really come that we will not be dependent on foreign remittances.

To respond to my previous post about my “hope” for my father’s comeback, I would say they were all granted and realized, although not the exact ways and means. Praise GOD (Giver Of Desires) indeed!

First, I have told him I loved him, and every time we talk over the phone, I make it a point to utter that “uncomfortable” yet precious word “I love you.” It really takes practice before that utterance becomes a habit. And I crave to be hooked on that habit and hope it becomes my “disciplined vice.”:) I have also become more expressive to my mother and sister, and appreciative to my two brothers.

My father got the chance to visit me in Baguio and he admitted that money could be spent as easy as chewing “garlic nuts.” What I remember the most during his short visit in Baguio was the time he bathed without heating the water. He appeared to be okay after that fresh bath, but its noticeable it caused him some wobbling effect. Though a denial thing on my father’s part was evident, because according to him it’s colder in Saudi (seasonal), I just chuckled out of respect and said to myself “I love my father for his ‘airy’ remarks.” :)

We also had the chance to be together as a family by going to the nearest and most accessible swimming resort in our town. We opted to go there because we had previous minor accident when we went to San Fabian, a three-town away beach from our town, just after my sister’s wedding. It was a good bonding time anyway, and that’s another granted wish. Praise God!

My father’s flight is fast nearing. I don’t know how long will we wait again for him, but absolutely, we will never cease to love him during his absence. It’s just really sweet to have a father like him.