Confused. Shattered. Loosed. I'm lost again. I can't explain the things that are happening to me as of the moment. I am straying away, i mean, close to forsaking my first love. I just can't explain things, why these things need to happen, why those things need to be done? Ohhh... I can't even cry, though i want to... I really need to restore myself, or probably bend my knees and let Him move.... Ohhh! All these prides, these thoughts, all these lusts, all of my ignorance and incapacities, how i wish would be transformed to becoming good, moderately good, coz if it becomes extremely good, i might always anticipate extreme down moments, or if it's lightly good, i can't do anything good at all to other people. Just enough, just the portion of goodness that i need to give and share.
Really, I need times of refreshing, times of revival, times of making everything about myself anew. I want to forget the past, and carry the learnings coupled in there, if I was sensitive to reflect on those. I want to forget and then explore new ones, learn new things, discover new ways to improve myself, as well as to find out in awe my foolishness and inconsistencies in life. Oh, how I wish I could be nicely good, and goodly nice. How i wish..... :)
Wish me well too.... Till we meet again:)