Sunday, October 26, 2008

The Challenge of Rebuke

It comforts me to know that someone understands me, even the complaints I have carried all through out my adjustment period for more than six months now. I am grateful I have friends who believe in me, who trust me, who show both the good and ugly in me. Though it’s hard to accept rebuke, it is better than hidden love, indeed.

But what’s the good of such admonition if I won’t heed on the challenge of deliberate change? I admitted I was spiritually “stagnated” the past months. I confessed I have been tempted of all kinds, and have sinned many times. But what I have gone through, I could say that I was mindful all along - the consequences of my actions, the trust that might be lost, the character that might be tainted with malice.

Grace. Gracia. Panangasi ya Katawan. It fuels me to breathe like a regenerated one. But right now, I am restless, tired, exhausted. It seems I am moving and acting without joy and sacred hype. But like a wounded soldier, I will rise. I accept the challenge to end this “game” of faith, to finish the good fight. But I can’t do it myself. I need YOU.