Monday, February 21, 2011

Long Life

I received a lot of text messages greeting me a happy valentines. But a text from my immediate superior caught my attention. “Text me if gising ka na, tawagan kita,” the SMS says. And I did text her, and she called me up. She told me that she dreamed of me to be dead. I was then covering an event when suddenly I collapsed, and my cameraman reported the incident. As she was telling her nightmare about me, she gave superstitious and traditional advices to counter the awful dream. I just listened, thanked her for calling me up, while over the phone, I was smiling, at the same time, realizing the possible meaning and interpretation of the dream.

Actually, that was the second time that somebody dreamt of me lifeless. My sister initially dreamed of me to be dead as well. I was a bit bothered with the successive dreams about me being dead. Well, some say it’s the other way around, that it would mean long life. Oh thank God if that is so. But I thought there would be no proper attitude or reaction better than praying and realizing that indeed life is short. Too short to waste it preposterously, too short to miss God’s blessing.

I prayed. I informed some of my friends about the dreams, and received their comforting and encouraging words. Some rebuked it, some said it’s really the other way around; others commit to pray for me continually.

Death - the end of life, and the beginning of life, as well. As a Christian, my fear of death was no longer hunting me. I become secured in the hands of Jesus. “For it is by grace you have been saved through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – no by works, so that no can boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9) This security roots in the very heart of the Lord through His love, grace and mercy for all the sinners, including me. Not a single or a thousand goodwill could ever be credited to my salvation, but only through Jesus.

Nightmares about my death in the month of heart won’t follow me all the days of my life. It’s just a distraction from the devil. As long as the Lord is my shepherd, the words in Psalm 23:6 will remain true: “Surely, goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” †

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Next time your story

I am now a broadcast journalist, and I love what I do. But sometimes, I am not just contented with the salary I am getting out of my job. It’s not really enough to sustain my cravings for coffee and cakes, my leisure to watch movie at least twice a week, and my desperation to travel outside the AOR at least once a month, and be out of the country for tour once a year.

I do not even have savings that can assure me of not having to work for at least three months, enough time to look for a new job, just in case. But I’m working that out, the saving thing, hehe. Don’t worry, I love my work, and I’ll be staying until my heart tells me so.

I dream of a mazda car, but as an urgent need and desire, a second-hand wheel is alright with me. At least I would be spared of unintentional chitchats when I am inside of a public transport. I feel uneasy when people around seem to be talking about me, a so-called mini-celebrity. Good or bad, I’m not comfortable. Thank you if it’s just an assumption, and sorry if I pretend too much. Anyway, I claim to have one before this year ends. Mark your calendar, my generous God will provide me one.

But will I be happy for eternity if I have one? Why I become so materialistic? Am I? Why not? Hmmmm.  Maybe, I forgot the joy and fulfillment of serving the Lord. But I know that I need one, I just want to know my priority. But for now, I have to be contented of what I have and be wise in using them.

Professionally speaking, I want to be recognized as one who performs his job excellently. I want to write again, and be awarded in a prestigious writing contest. But hey me, I don’t do anything. I don’t even write for the past years; my reading habit also dwindles. This desire of winning I traced back since college seems to be overdue. And I want to achieve it ASAP. I can do it. But for whose glory? Another question that I know answers will point me to the giver of gifts and talents. Don’t be deceived: “for everything in the world – the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does – comes not from the Father but from the world. “ (1 Jn.2:16)

And Yes, I am turning silver this March, still single, and most of the times happy. Praise God. I have to say I do not enjoy when I flirt with someone, sometimes. Forgive me. I can’t feel the spark and the LOVE, it’s so superficial. I want to feel what love really means and what love can do to change me. I confess I have dated ladies, to get to know them, and feel if one of them is God’s gift for me. But I can’t teach my heart, I can’t see the heart of the Lord to any one of those I dated.  Lord, you know my heart’s desire. I pray that I wouldn’t miss the girl that You have prepared for me; I know you only give the best, and with an expectant heart, I claim your promises. Pag-ibig nga naman!

I have a lot of things in mind, hopefully not load of craps. I want to do many things, but you are correct that the simplicities of things are sometimes the most meaningful ones. 
And I notice I always speak about me. Don’t worry, next time I’ll tell stories of others, of family, of friends, of work, of ministry, and more of God.