Lack of sense of purpose and focus

I was walking downrightly flabby the past weeks - walking without sense of purpose, and striding the way without focus. I was dealing on this toughly that I overtook the gentle, loving hands of God to guide and lead me in the right way. I ended up struggling with my very feet, gasping for help, and was hopelessly helpless at that.

I identified the problem, and the problem was deep inside me. I was looking for other satisfaction and love outside the destined will of the Lord, which I now face as consequence. (Details withheld, not so matter-of-life-and-death actually, but crucial when left unsettled). I really need help to rise up again as fiery, armored Christian soldier. The battle of life and ministry are awaiting for completion, and that would take a lifetime. I need a broken heart willing to be comforted, for my flesh persists to turn back at my old ways. I need a wrestling experience which I honestly feared of because I am a coward and I may not contain it. But I believe I need it, very badly.

I have confessed it to the Lord, and I wonder if I need more confession. Maybe I should confess more, to see more His forgiveness. Maybe I should pray more to see His holiness. Maybe I should seek Him more to see His face. And that’s what I long for, and intend to do. Join me please:) Thank you and be blessed:)