Almost every time I open the door of my pad, dogs and cats are all waiting for some food to eat. Unfortunately, they cannot depend on me for the reason that I seldom cook my own food. I spend more than half of my day outside my shelter working and traveling to news gather. I just open the door for the air to at least fume inside my pad, and be refreshed due to the suffocated aura of my room’s solitude.
Watching these dogs and cats flirt with one another drives me into a playful fantasy. It feels good to film these creatures enjoy their very animal instinct, with all their caresses and affection. Like human, they also have blood circulating from all over their body; sensation is obviously manifested in their cuddling. Because I could not offer them hope for their stomach, all I can do is to have an eye-to-eye contact with them. Their eyes are colorful than mine, admittedly.
Sitting in my wooden chair with my feet wide open, my sight takes me into the single, old flower frame nailed on the wall. It’s like the green curtain that seems to lose its glow for so long displayed. It’s also like wisdom unsharpened because of the books that are forever shelved. In the middle of the sala is a small stand that supports the most read magazines I have. And I just want to travel in stellar space I’ve never been into...
Since boredom weakens me all the more, I found myself traveling in the city of pines for the nth time. My mom got so concerned about my traveling late at night, given the discomfort of the roads devastated by the recent typhoon Pepeng. I reasoned my over familiarity with the place where I’d go, and that’s enough assurance for her to sleep unperturbedly.
My eyes were opened the whole journey. Noticeably, there were few vehicles traveling via Kennon road. Despite the evident danger, the driver really braved the bumpy roads with shifting speed. My eyes saw the ruins of the houses enveloped by the series of landslides. Road cuts greeted us several times. But instead of fear, I was comforted upon looking at the moon peeking on us as it rams into the trees while we’re in motion. The serenity of the night signals the much-awaited respite I longed for.
I found myself haggling at the ukay-ukay area. I bought nothing but the thrill of bargaining. I then treaded back and forth the Session road, no itinerary, just following wherever my feet would lead me. Two cups of brewed coffee were such a delight. Afterwards, I walked again.
Drunkards roamed around the city even though it’s Sunday. Twenty-four hour cafĂ©, bars and resto were never spoiled of customers. Smokers were like natural mannequins. Cabs were so dependable especially for those unable to bring themselves home. With my hands inside my jacket and its hood giving warmth to my neck, the cool breeze of midnight Baguio was so irresistible I could just hate myself for being romantically unattached with someone.
It was a solace for me to be alone. But being an average introvert was never an excuse for my whim and yen of exploring the magic of touch, of love. I could just love myself for being me, but I could also just blame myself for not being one.
It was about 2am that I realized I was heeding nowhere. I stopped at the lamppost, gasping for breath, with smoke-like fog coming out of my mouth. The place I travelled was so familiar but there’s a sort of uncertainty that hindered me from lavishing the bliss of Baguio. Its mist was so peculiar it failed to give joy to my heart.Probably, the city is still recuperating from the catastrophe caused by the typhoon.
Waffles with butter and syrup halted my stomach’s grumbling for food. I needed to pause before my feet and legs collapsed from over fatigue. I walked the distance, and I saw much. Indeed, I considered myself a wanderer in my own comfort zone…
All along, I thought my ten-hour adventure in the mountain resort city of Amianan was real. But the dogs and cats outside my pad are still waiting for me to feed them. All I could do was to see them eye-to-eye, and test who among us would shed tears. †
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