Staying still

Hiya back... (sounds familiar?hehe).. Anyway, i'm staying still in my present haven, which is about to vanish for financial constraints (soon).. I just realize that i have to allocate my strict finances to more important things like helping in the LCDC funds and our daily bread.. O daily bread...:) that's it... got a new phone and number by the way.09266832630. shalom!

Moving out?

Hiya there... I'm fine, on the verge of moving on, hopefully:) Anyway, I just want to say that I'm on the decision-making process again in terms of moving out in my present 'haven'. Yeah, I personally consider IV home a haven, but i think it doesn't deserve someone like me to stay in any longer, among other reasons in my mind. But i'm contemplating if i seem to be a victim of pride, of my pride, of keeping my words consistent, especially my status as the 'poorest' of them all, financially. (This is not a manifestation of sefl-pity, whatever:)). Anyway, i'm thinking and praying about this, mind-bogglingly. Watch out for the decision... that's the next attraction:)hehe

Happy and exhausted Monthsary

Hi there.. Happy monthsary, hehe... I just want to keep my invisible readers, if there are, updated. I just missed having all my litanies online, pretending to be noticed or somehow pitied by somebody, whoever:), just in case I catch their attention. Anyway, first on my memory list is the Palanca stuff. Yes, the result was in, and better bless next time. Though i didn't make it to the lit list, i am pretty sure that my next year's entry will never be the same again, hehe. It's all or all, hehe. About my work, oh yes, it's almost a month since my new job started as contractual info officer in a government office. It's very exhausting yet I am learning very much. On the other hand, it seems i'm compromising something, of my ideals, maybe of my principles, or most probably my GT commitment. How i wish i could quit my job, feed myself out of magic or blessing, or just stay and let it be. That's life. My plans never become structurally engraved in the book of life so i should be open any time. Waaah, why am i speaking of book of life, magic or blessing? They are conflicting and ironic terms right? anyway, scrap it all, nonsense. Next... Yes, about me, because I love talking about myself. It's ok if they consider me self-centered, but i just want to speak. This is my litany anyway. In short, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I don't know what's happening to me. Maybe next time, I could. Bye:)

Wish Me Well

Confused. Shattered. Loosed. I'm lost again. I can't explain the things that are happening to me as of the moment. I am straying away, i mean, close to forsaking my first love. I just can't explain things, why these things need to happen, why those things need to be done? Ohhh... I can't even cry, though i want to... I really need to restore myself, or probably bend my knees and let Him move.... Ohhh! All these prides, these thoughts, all these lusts, all of my ignorance and incapacities, how i wish would be transformed to becoming good, moderately good, coz if it becomes extremely good, i might always anticipate extreme down moments, or if it's lightly good, i can't do anything good at all to other people. Just enough, just the portion of goodness that i need to give and share.
Really, I need times of refreshing, times of revival, times of making everything about myself anew. I want to forget the past, and carry the learnings coupled in there, if I was sensitive to reflect on those. I want to forget and then explore new ones, learn new things, discover new ways to improve myself, as well as to find out in awe my foolishness and inconsistencies in life. Oh, how I wish I could be nicely good, and goodly nice. How i wish..... :)
Wish me well too.... Till we meet again:)

The irony of emotions and new adjustments

My first two days of teaching Koreans were of mixed impressions. They are fun to be with, sometimes hard to deal with, sometimes full of laughters, and other times you just want to bump your head into the wall out of despair, hehe.. Anyway, so far I'm enjoying it and it's really my desire to be with the students, so we'll just see how far could I stand their presence:)
Anyway, since i'm now a working graduate, and still a GT member which is a top priority of mine, I need to adjust my schedule for campus work. I just pray that the Lord will indeed provide ways for me to continue the campus ministry in a full blast.
That's it for now. God bless you all. Halleluia!!!

God's goodness and sovereignty

Hello.. it's been a long time... hehe.. I hope there is someone who will be interested in my wandered thoughts. Anyway, I just want to tell everyone who has an access on my blog that the Lord has been so good to me for the past weeks. The Lord proves everyday that He is in control, that whenever I ask for His ways to light mine, He reveals it according to His measure of my intellect and understanding. God really rocks.
On the other hand, aside from the volunteer work as a GT member, the Lord has provided a lot of job offers for me, and I decided to choose the tutor job since I like to be with the students and it's only a short termed work. I just hope I could enjoy it since this is a gift from God, and I believe tha He would enable me to enjoy that toil.
On personal and interpersonal aspects, I'm struggling with consistent and quality time with the Lord and ministry commitments. I just pray that I may not be preoccupied with the busyness of life and work. May I continue to savor God's love everyday. Help me on that matter. So far, i need to work out my relationship with other friends, that I may really be interested in their lives, not only in a surface level, but skin deep, so I could extend myself to them for help and support.
Despite the state of calamity in Baguio, it's proven: the Lord is good and sovereign no matter what. God bless you all:)

Living by Faith Indeed

Hi. It's been a long time that I wasn't able to keep this blog updated. Kinda stretching the resources available, hehe.. As the title suggests, yes, the Lord is teaching me to really live by faith everyday of my life. As I enjoy my campus work as a volunteer, the Lord is indeed a great provider, not all the time for tangible objects, but of spiritual and psychological benefits. Even without food in the stomach and fare to travel to and fro campus, the joy of enjoying what I have (and the thought of whom am I serving) is more than a relief and a refreshment for me. Praise God. More than that, the fact that I have no job yet does not hinder me to continue this calling destined before me. I'm still hopeful that in God's time, He will provide, or probably, make His way clearer that I need to just focus on the minsitry. The thought of "it" comes once in a while, and honestly, I don't know how to react about it, but i believe He will show me the way. Haaay.... Anyway, I enjoy my life and i want to enjoy it with God constantly as my center. Shalom:)

Untold pressures from family

Hi to everyone. I went home to Pangasinan for three days and two nights because I wanted to see new atmosphere, and unfortunately, it was a disappointing scene to watch (except the Just Like Heaven movie I watched there, hehe). My family is struggling hard financially, and I can't help but hide my shame and guilt because I am powerless, physically and financially. Even though I wanted to change the course of fate, of our financial condition, etc., at that moment, the only thing I did was to utter a silent prayer that God wouldl intervene in His time and ways. At some point, I was tempted to think and regret things I did before, threading the circumstances that IF EVER, IF ONLY...., my family would not experience this shortage and inadequacies in life. But then, I have to be firm in my commitment and decisions in life, with faith that God will take care of my family, as I follow His will. Not that I expect His reward, but I just recognize His goodness, grace, and faithfulness to those who are willing to follow Him. And I desire to be one. I hope you include me in your prayers. God bless and tahnk you. :)

Guarding myself against wicked ways

hi, I'm back back again. Just to keep you posted, I quit my job training after two days of field work. hehe. I just sensed and realized that I belong to somewhere else, and that i don't want to become an agent to someone else's burden in allocating their family's income. Besides, I observed that the'y're not being true to what their saying, they're inventing words and other persuasive language just to close a deal. Of course, that's not the kind of work that i would love to do. In the first place, as a Christian, I should guard my testimony and be of good influence to other people. I should still consider being aware of observing personal holiness. It's not becoming self-righteous anyway, but becoming vigilant and alert that I may not be used in any sort of wicked ways, hehe.

Anyway, i'm still searching for a job as of these moments, and i'm still hopeful that the Lord will give me one. I continue to trust His goodness, grace and perfect time for everything.

Please pray for me that I may not be disappointed and tempted to change ways amidst pressures from my family and personal ambitions. May the Lord protect me against wicked ways and means. Thanks a lot.... Muwaah:)

The Day I Sell Myself

Hi to everyone :) I just want to say that I have received so much blessing from the Lord for the past weeks even at these very moments. Praise God for the joy, learnings, enjoyment and blessings He showed in ISCF camp. It was not only a great experience for me, but an encounter with God filled with His enabling, favor, strength and joy in serving Him. I praise you God for that.

Yes, this is my first day to sell myself, hehe. I'm now involved in marketing and selling in a publishing company. I know that you have some "negative" thoughts, probably, about the nature of my work, but I'm also exploring and testing the waters. There is always a room for improvement and higher learning. I just have to give it a try, and give my best. It's still a work nonetheless, hehe.

Please pray that I may be able to perform best in this career, and also that i may still manage to give my best in my GT involvement. It is still my priority. God bless you all:) Thank you:)